Conversations 22 - The Awkwardness Of Our Love

When I met you for the first time, I remember how I struggled to find my voice, let alone string sentences for a proper conversation. I recall how you managed to keep a slight smile on your face despite the awkwardness of the situation.

To be honest, I can't believe why you continued to talk with me despite the evident contrasts of our personalities. Perhaps it was the safety of your room when we chatted over the internet or maybe it was my 180 behaviour behind the comfort of the computer screen that kept you interested.

I mean, you clearly weren't in search of a male companion those days, even more so when that guy was the joke of the classroom. I am certain you remember what the story was that year and if you don't, then I, maybe, am just giving myself too much credit. Maybe I am doing that either way.

Do you remember when I actually managed to gather enough courage to come and talk to you? That was when you were pissed off with me for reasons that I was unaware of, leading to yet another awkward scenario. This time, however, you left me standing alone with a hot lump in my throat and the obvious surprise on my face.

Then there was a time when I grabbed your hand outta nowhere and it was your turn to act surprised. I remember the cringe I felt in that moment and the discomforting silence of the next few.

And then, a few months later, we were forced to hug by our friends, who always seemed to believe that there was more going between us than we showed to the world. I don't think either of us saw what they were seeing. You certainly weren't. I do remember that you were the one who made the first move in that situation, pulling my awkward hands to your back.

Though many years have passed since that moment and our relationship did go the way our friends saw before we could, we are yet to get over the awkwardness and the clumsiness that continues to influence our actions. It has often made me wonder if we have made any real progress in all this time only to realise that it is this weirdness that made us respect our imperfections and fall in love in spite of them.


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