Conversation 21 - My World With You

I can't remember the number of times that you've managed to control my panicking self but I know that that number is huge. It's so surprising that I always shock myself with my reactions in a tough situation.

It is in direct contrast with what I see myself to be - a calm and collected person who'd solve his own problems and yours with full attention and effort. And yet, I'd probably trip and fall if you aren't around to call my name.

These panic attacks are a time when I become a rather difficult person to deal with and I can always sense your frustration with my behaviour in those moments. It's amazing how you manage to keep your cool in spite of that but I'll take that both of us losing our heads isn't the best way to go about solving a problem.

With that said, I'd love to let you know that I've been doing quite well with myself in your absence. I've approached new situations with a calm head and I guess you would be proud if you could see how I am acting around.

Unfortunately, the only time you did see me was when I was panicking, struggling to keep up with the situation that we were in. I can make an excuse that a lot of that behaviour was out of concern for your safety, but then you are far more experienced than me in a situation like that - which means that I've got to stop treating you like a child that you haven't been in quite a long time.

In fact, if we are being honest, my presence has no effect on your safety and the sooner I learn this fact is better for our relationship. My unnecessary concerns won't do anything but hold you back and keeping you stuck is the last thing I want to do.

Thus, what I need is to grow up if I want to grow old with you. There is no rope long enough to tie you to me but a link that gives us feelings to connect to.

In a world where I've always had you be the child that I am supposed to take care of, the time has come that I treat you as the responsible adult that you are and give your opinions the respect that they deserve.

Plus, the opportunity to look around gives you the chance to come back to me on your own accord instead of being stuck with me.


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